


Ya l'Ontario dans l'cul aussi

by shihadchick



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Flirting, Getting Together, Multi, Podfic Available, an AU where no one is injured, gratuitious french, low-key polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:54:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22677505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shihadchick/pseuds/shihadchick
Summary: Alexandre was not entirely sure how he got roped into Luc and Josh's movie night.
Relationships: Josh Anderson/Pierre-Luc Dubois/Alexandre Texier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 46





	Ya l'Ontario dans l'cul aussi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annapods/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Restricted Work] by [Annapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annapods/pseuds/Annapods). Log in to view. 



> Written for [Annapods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annapods/pseuds/Annapods), to fulfill the 'accent check' square on podfic bingo. 
> 
> Characters speak Metropolitan and Quebecois French both in text and where reasonably implied but written in English; please forgive any errors on my part in the text with regard to that. (And please let me know so I can fix them!)

* * *

Alexandre was not entirely sure how he got roped into Luc and Josh's movie night. 

Apparently, this is something they do semi-regularly, when they are not fighting over who is cheating the hardest at MarioKart, or Chel, or any of the other five or so video games that every single hockey player Alexandre has ever met plays. 

When Luc had invited him—and pointedly not anyone else—Savy had just raised an eyebrow and muttered something under his breath that Alexandre couldn't hear. Apparently Luc had, though, because he hissed something in Québécois that Alexandre did catch, and then it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. 

Boone apparently had managed to retain about enough French from high school to follow all three of them—although, Alexandre thought, it was probably more that swearwords and pick-up lines were the easiest to remember after you did not have to worry about exams anymore. He gave them a significant look too, his eyes lingering on Alexandre just enough to make him feel a tremor of nervousness.

"Don't break the rookie," was all he said in the end, with a significant glance at Josh of all people, which seemed a little unfair given that Josh had absolutely not been able to follow any of the conversation past Luc inviting him in the first place.

"He'll be fine," Josh said mildly. "He's a grown up."

"He's not even twenty-one yet," Fliggy said cheerfully, and fully half the room groaned and muttered about stupid American liquor laws, which was probably what the captain had been intending in the first place. He was good like that; Alexandre didn't need to have been with the Jackets for almost a year now to know _that_.

"C'est bon," Alexandre said to him. "I'm sure they will behave." 

He wasn't, actually, but it made Luc laugh and dig his elbow into Josh's ribs, so good enough.

* * *

Alexandre turned up at Luc's place—their base of operations, apparently, for all that Josh had the bigger TV—promptly at six, a six pack he'd cajoled Murrs into getting for him tucked under his arm. 

Ryan had raised an eyebrow at the request, but was weak enough to Alexandre's 'poor pathetic underage European' face of woe to go digging in his own cupboards for something that would be an appropriate gift. Nuti had just sat opposite them at the kitchen table and snickered, while refusing to explain why to either of them, although Alexandre was working on a private suspicion that he was _why_ Ryan hadn't argued against it for long. Alexandre knew when he was accidentally crashing a date; he was young, not stupid. 

"They really don't expect you to bring anything," Murr had said carefully, practicing his French, and Alexandre chewed on his lip and argued, "I have manners, Murr," with the heavy implication that he would make himself appropriately scarce soon, too, and that was that. 

"Ooh, beer," Luc said with an easy grin, and hooked the cardboard box out of Alexandre's hand before disappearing into the kitchen. "Andy's in the living room," he called without bothering to turn, and Andy yelled, "Hey, that one I know! C'mon in, Tex."

Alexandre kicked his shoes off into the pile by the door, mostly sneakers that he figured had to be Josh's since he'd seen Luc's fearsomely organized collection in the past and there was no way Luc was treating his Jordans that casually. The living room opened out of the entryway, and he could see Josh's hair just above the back of the couch as he came around the corner. 

"Salut," he said, pausing for just a moment in the doorway to get the lay of the land better. 

Luc's couch was huge, but Josh was sitting right in the middle of it, socked feet up on the coffee table, fucking around with his phone. Alexandre told himself not to over-think, and dropped onto the free space at the closest end, shoving a couple of cushions out of the way. 

"Bonsoir," Josh said, with what was almost a credible accent, and Alexandre grinned at him, appreciating the gesture. 

"What are we watching anyway?" Alexandre asked, as Luc came padding back into the room, three open bottles dangling from his fingers. It maybe wasn't the most hygenic, but Alexandre didn't care, taking his with quiet thanks.

"We're working on your cultural education," Luc said, with a grand gesture that nearly ended in him pouring his beer onto Josh mid-flight. "Bon Cop, Bad Cop. It's a classic."

"Sure," Alexandre said, a little dubious; he'd never heard of it, but it had to be better than watching Anchorman for the ten thousandth time, whatever it was.

* * *

The movie was actually pretty funny. 

Alexandre could follow the Québécois well enough to get most of the word play, and the English was fairly simple to guess even when it was too fast _because_ of the French. But what he ended up watching almost as much as the TV was Luc and Josh. 

Luc had dropped onto the couch between Josh and Alexandre, shamelessly making himself comfortable by draping an arm over Josh's shoulders and letting his knee push against Alexandre's thigh as he leaned into Josh. It was fine, it wasn't like Alexandre hadn't spent most of his life jammed into small spaces with friends and teammates, but there was a whole other half of the couch right there and he wasn't entirely sure why none of them were using it. 

Josh ordered delivery for them on his phone and they paused long enough to sit and eat at the kitchen table "like grownups", Luc said, in a tone of voice that was very clearly parroting one or both of his parents. Or maybe Savy. Or possibly all three. 

Alexandre was the first one back to the living room after they'd eaten, both Luc and Josh firmly refusing his offer to wash the few dishes they had used. He sat at the other end of the couch, hip pressed up against the side, feeling mildly guilty in a way he couldn't quite put his finger on for having shifted position. It didn't make any difference though; he heard the low murmur of voices in the kitchen and words he couldn't make out, and then Luc came back in and promptly curled up, leaning his head on Alexandre's shoulder this time.

Alexandre held his breath. 

There was just so _much_ of Luc; he was as tall as Josh, and almost as broad, and Alexandre maybe liked it a little too much.

"I started the dishwasher too," Josh called from the kitchen, "and we need paper towels, can you add it to the grocery list?"

"D'accord," Luc said, his breath warm against the side of Alexandre's neck, and he fished his phone out of his pocket to make a note.

Alexandre reminded himself fiercely that he needed to be cool, Luc was just—like that with everyone, it didn't mean anything. He wasn't entirely successful at relaxing, all the same. 

Josh finally came back to the living room, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and starting the movie again as he sat down next to Luc, slouching in a way that made Alexandre's back twinge just looking at him.

"Oh, this is the best part," Luc said, and sat up just long enough to shift his weight so that he was leaning on Josh again.

Alexandre tried not to miss that.

"You say that for all of it," Josh pointed out, laughing at him fondly, and Luc jabbed a finger into the meat of his thigh and chided him softly, "Rude, mon chum."

Alexandre bit his lip and tried not to look like he'd been startled or even overheard that. He wasn't sure he'd been meant to. And he knew plenty of French-Canadian guys who used the phrase without a qualm, who just meant friends, but the gentle, fond teasing tone suggested something else. Something that went right along with shared grocery lists and cuddling on the couch and Josh learning French and it all added up to 'not _just_ friends'.

Which was fine, of course it was, Alexandre wasn't an asshole, he just wasn't sure why he was _there_. 

"Uh, maybe I should—?" Alexandre started to say, reluctantly drawing himself further away from Luc's warmth.

"You want another beer?" Luc asked, head tilted, assessing him. 

"I should maybe go?" Alexandre said, making a show of looking down at his watch. It wasn't even late, which they all knew, but sometimes a polite lie was the best option.

"No," Josh protested, "I mean, you gotta see the end of the movie, right? And, uh—" He swallowed something else as Luc unsubtly elbowed him in the ribs. 

"Do you want to go?" Luc asked. "Did, uh. We didn't make you uncomfortable?"

"No!" Alexandre said quickly. "It's, uh. I'm not assuming—I mean, everything's fine, I just. You don't want the evening to yourselves?"

"We invited you," Luc said pointedly. "We want to hang out."

He reached over to Alexandre, patted his knee in emphasis, and then just… left his hand resting on Alexandre's thigh. Luc was so warm, and Alexandre was pretty sure he was blushing, and Josh was definitely getting pink around the ears, which seemed like a bad sign, was he jealous? Was Luc actually flirting, or just even more clueless in his enthusiasm and affection than normal?

Alexandre wasn't ashamed to admit that he could really do with an assist on figuring out what on earth was going on.

Josh sighed heavily and elbowed Luc right back. "I said you were overthinking this."

Luc leaned against him for a moment and closed his eyes, his lips moving silently as he tried to sort out whatever it was he was trying to say. 

Alexandre felt like he was about to jump out of his skin, nerves fired up like they hadn't been since maybe his first game, or the playoffs. 

"We're interested," Luc said eventually. "In you. If you would like to… join us?"

Alexandre's eyes widened. So that was—what he'd been thinking but had hardly dared to even hope for. 

"I said we should've watched Moulin Rouge," Josh said, in what was clearly an ongoing argument. "It's way more obviously a move."

'voulez-vous coucher avec moi', Alexandre thought, with a hectic kind of calm. Or—no, _avec nous_. Apparently. Holy shit. 

And he certainly wasn't opposed, if that was what was on the table. He let himself sit up more, start to lean back towards Luc and Josh, letting himself look at them, at them both, at how Luc's right hand was tangled with Josh's left, and how had he _missed_ that before now?

"No," he started to say, and both of their faces fell, which was also somewhat reassuring, but not at all what he was intending to say. "I mean, yes, just—this movie was a good choice too."

"I told you so," Luc said, apparently unable to help himself. 

Josh raised an eyebrow. 

Alexandre grinned at him, let his eyes drop to Josh's mouth and linger, and oh, yes, Josh blushed easy, and this was going to be fun. "It's right there at the beginning, eh, Luc?" 

He waited a beat, and then went on. "Your heart is in Quebec, but your ass belongs to him."

-the end-

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a quote from _Bon Cop, Bad Cop_ , part of the following exchange: "his heart is in Quebec" "Ya l'Ontario dans l'cul aussi" "what's that?" "his ass belongs to you"


End file.
